They're Very Invested In Their Own Dumps

« December 2016 »

Memo to Linda McMahon, the Flynn Clan, and the Dump Star Wars movement: YOU ARE DUMB.


It's well established that Donald Trump is consistently appointing people to departments of the government who are fundamentally opposed to what that department does. But one recent example of Trump's Anti-Life Cabinet isn't getting the attention it deserves, and as someone who follows both politics and wrestling WAY too closely (seriously, check out Oldnerd for proof), Linda McMahon as the head of the SMALL BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION is almost as nuts as the EPA guy.

Because as anyone with a basic knowledge of wrestling history knows, the WWE, née WWF, née WWWF, became the juggernaught it is today by spending the last three to four decades mercilessly hunting down, murdering, and frequently eating its smaller competitors. Crushing small businesses is what created the empire that Linda McMahon presided over. And yet, somehow, this twice-failed politician was chosen by an inexplicably not-failed politician to be in charge of small businesses in America. SWERVED.

A quick update to Wednesday's column about Motherfucking Pizzagate. Michael Flynn Jr., the asshole son of Donald Trump's nutjob National Security Advisor pick, was determined to have in fact been working for the transition team just long enough for him to be fired from the transition team for tweeting about malicious bullshit, including Pizzagate.

His father, who, in addition to all the other ways he's completely unsuitable for the job he's been picked for, also tweeted about the same malicious bullshit, is happily ensconced in his job-to-be, protected by his boss, who, lest we forget, has frequently retweeted and repeated malicious bullshit from the same people that brought you Pizzagate. Because if you don't have standards at all, how can you have double standards?

The usual gang of idiots is, of course, calling for a boycott of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, because the Jew-run Social Justice Media put darkies and wimmens in it or something. I anxiously await what number they pull out of their ass to pretend they accomplished something more than retweeting a picture of Pepe The Frog dressed as Yoda. And then jerking off to it.

I actually do know, to a certain extent, what they're saying they're mad about, but it's so dumb it's almost too dumb for this column. Some of the Rogue One writers tweeted a Rebel icon with a safety pin through it. The safety pin, as you recall, was a brief post-election fad white people thought up to show minorities that they weren't one of the white people who wants to hurt minorities. The safety pin has also been accurately described as an anti-Trump protest symbol, because, well, Trump wants to hurt minorities, and some shit is transitive. So they're gonna boycott it. Well, they're gonna say they're gonna boycott it but then they're gonna see it because they need to find out whether or not the Death Star plans get stolen. They're not that bright.