More Than Just Insane Sociopathic Monsters

« February 2017 »

Memo to Donald Trump and Mike Pence: YOU REALLY ARE DUMB.

Look, I'm not going to lie to you. The past two weeks have been the absolute toughest two weeks in the 13+ years of this site. I'm having less fun writing this, and following the news I need to follow in order to write it, than I ever have. I started this site with the premise that dumb people ruin things for the rest of us, and not only has that never been truer than it is right now, I have absolutely no idea how much truer that's going to get.

And frankly, I'm not cut from a dissident cloth. I'm middle-aged. I'm comfortable. Unlike the Teabaggers of yore, I am under no illusions about exactly how bad a revolutionary or political prisoner I would be.

Not only did we vote Republicans into power, we voted the most venal, most insane, most racist, most authoritarian Republicans we've ever seen into office. But, and this is more important for me than it is for America, they're also just bone fucking stupid, the lot of them. It probably won't be their downfall, it gives me something tangible to grab onto. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"I am very proud now that we have a museum on the National Mall where people can learn about Reverend King, so many other things, Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice. Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, and millions more black Americans who made America what it is today. Big impact.” - President Aderp Shitler, celebrating the start of Black History Month as only he can.

There are several things about this quote that bring me joy. The first is how clearly he didn't want to even bother. He just got fed a list of names of famous black people by some intern who had to look up "famous black people" on Wikipedia because his last gig at Stormfront didn't provide the necessary background knowledge. And then he just fucking winged it. And crashed and burned and maybe thought Frederick Douglass was still alive and maybe just doesn't know how grammar works.

Present tense usage aside, though, how about that weird projection about how Frederick Douglass had been generally undervalued in American history? I guarantee you that's how Donald Trump processed the fact that he looked down his Stormfront intern's list, recognized King, recognized Tubman, recognized Parks, and had to ask who Douglass was. And then didn't feel like asking what "abolitionist" meant. Donald Trump is recognizing Frederick Douglass more and more because HE JUST LEARNED WHO HE WAS.

And then, when he got asked about it at the press briefing, Sean Spicer didn't know who he was either, because until that moment, Sean Spicer thought that Frederick Douglass was one of the players in the Key and Peele East-West Bowl sketch. Also, the East-West Bowl sketch is the only Key and Peele sketch Sean Spicer has ever seen. We all know it's true.

And then Mike Pence celebrated like five minutes worth of Black History Month (in total, of course) by tweeting about how great Abraham Lincoln was for freeing the slaves. Which, of course, is an attempt to feed into the right-wing myth that because Abraham Lincoln's party had the name "Republican", they should get all the credit for all the progress African-Americans have made since then and everyone should just SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP about them being racists, OK?

Still, while this is a dick move on Pence's part, keep in mind he PROBABLY wanted to blame Planned Parenthood for black genocide on Feb. 1 and was talked out of it by an aide. And we're all thankful for any small favors we can glean these days, right?