Um, Don't Panic?

« February 2017 »

Memo to Some Asshole, James C. Green, and Sean Spicer: YOU ARE DUMB.

Oh, IDIOTS. You're so emboldened these days. I mean, hundreds of them met down in Florida to yell at liberals and bow down before Aderp Shitler. But as long as they continue to SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS, I'll be there. Well, that's not true. Idiocy has a much longer lifespan than I do. But you know what I mean.

"We do not have the personnel, time or resources to go into communities and round up people and do all kinds of mass throwing folks on buses. That’s entirely a figment of folks’ imagination. This is not intended to produce mass roundups, mass deportations.” - A senior Department of Homeland Security official, granted anonymity by the Washington Post despite doing the White House's bidding and sorta lying.

I say "sorta", because yes, the new deportation guidelines issued by DHS don't establish mass deportations, at least yet. But that's not the only reason people are panicking. Because the new regulations DO establish completely indiscriminate deportations, so while not every undocumented immigrant will be deported right away, any one of them could be deported at any time and declared a "criminal".

See, Trump's plan is to reassure white people by saying he's only deporting criminals. Criminals are bad, and we don't like criminals, so that's OK. Except, in much the same way Obama redefined "militant" to make us feel better about drone strikes, Trump is redefining "criminal" to mean anyone convicted of a crime, anyone arrested for a crime, and anyone an authority figure thinks might have committed a crime. Oh, and "crime" includes pretty much anything. So when the people who are champing at the bit to throw you in a hole before deporting you say "don't panic", maybe not take their word for it.

“And as even more women thus enter the workforce that creates more competition for jobs (even men's jobs) and puts further downward pressure on the pay for all jobs... meaning more and more Mothers will be forced into the workforce. And that is bad for families and thus for all of society." - Utah Republican James C. Green.

Green calls this "simple economics", which is certainly true if you take each word separately. A few key takeaways here. First, his shock, and assumption you'd be shocked, at the fact that MEN'S JOBS are at risk! And that he thinks there's such a thing as "men's jobs" in the first place. Also, what puts more downward pressure on jobs for men - the women getting paid the same, or businesses knowing they can freely hire women for a fraction of the wages?

None of this matters, of course, because James C. Green capitalized "Mothers" on purpose when he didn't have to. Which means he's a creepy freak motherfucker, possibly literally, definitely figuratively. It's like the old saying goes, you can take the measure of a man by which words he chooses to gratuitously capitalize. And "mother" is in the top three for freakbags. That involuntary shudder you felt when you first saw that capital "M"? Totally legit.

"I wish that they had praised the President for his leadership in this area. And I think that hopefully as time continues to go by they recognize his commitment to civil rights, to voting rights, to equality for all Americans," - Sean "Spicy Boy" Spicer, wondering why his boss didn't get enough credit from the Anne Frank Center for begrudgingly saying anti-Semitic attacks were bad.

I mean, what does a guy have to do to get some respect? He's hired one Jew for every three Nazi sympathizers on his staff, which I think we can all agree is a perfectly reasonable ratio. The only reason Trump told that Jewish reporter to sit down and shut up so he could more comfortably hear how not anti-Semitic Trump is. And the number of bomb threats phoned into Jewish community centers to celebrate Trump on President's Day was probably in the single digits?

But hey, at least there's nothing threatening-sounding about a thick-necked propaganda spigot for Steve Bannon's best friend telling the Anne Frank center that one day, they'll recognize exactly how committed to human rights they are. What's next, reassuring Jews that while they may have been left out of this year's Holocaust statement, they'll be sure to include them in next year's Holocaust? Optics are not their strong suit.