The Last Of The Mophobics

« March 2017 »

Memo to anti-gay crusaders: YOU ARE STRANGELY COMFORTING.

These are strange times. Strange times call for strange comforts. I mean, I take comfort in normal things, like the temporary restraining order against Muslim Ban V2, the continuing mess that is GarbageBargeCare, and the continuing nightmare fallout over Trump's early-morning-toilet tweets about being wiretapped. But I also take strange comfort, like the fact that in 2017, people are still getting mad about tiny nuggets of pseudo-gay content in mass-market entertainment.

Of all the great wingnut quests, the quest to keep children's entertainment pure and straight seems the most quaint and quixotic these days. Gay marriage has been legal for a few years now with no signs of societal collapse. Well, no signs related to gay marriage. Insane out-of-control racism is a whole other thing. LGBT representation in media is growing both in quantity and in maturity.

But most importantly, even with Republican sweeps of the White House, Congress, and a bunch of state legislatures, so far, basic gay rights have seemed pretty safe. The line has shifted to being shitty to the transgender community, which is absolutely still shitty, but also clearly a fallback position for the forces of repression. Which is why these LEGO Batman and Beauty And The Beast things are so goddamned funny.

Especially LEGO Batman, which is so ridiculous I have a hard time believing the people peddling this bullshit even believe it. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"It was chock full of pro-gay propaganda. Think the sexual innuendo of the Flintstones minus the real humor. It seemed the creators were so anxious to subtly indoctrinate the little ones into the gender ideology that making it humorous came as a distant second thought. " - John Henry Weston, at LifeSite.

Weston doesn't provide any details to support this view, instead... wait, did he just say "the sexual innuendo of the Flintstones"? What the fuck? Do they think all the "rock" puns are actually about hard dicks? Was there some part of the live action movies I missed because I was smart enough to not watch them? Seriously, what the fuck? Anyway, he quotes some other review that makes no sense, but basically all there is is a joke that Dick Grayson has two dads (he doesn't) and that the use of relationship language to describe the Batman/Joker rivalry is somehow homoerotic (not really). That's it. It's pretty fucking pathetic.

The case for Beauty and the Beast, which has now been sorta banned in Malaysia, possibly Russia, and definitely a shitty drive-in in Alabama is only slightly stronger. Apparently, the film hints that Gaston's sidekick, LeFou, has a thing for dudes, or at least dudes in a dress. Just hints, but then the director came out and stated his intent, so that's some kind of confirmation, I guess.

Even so, it's just a smidge of inclusion. Mostly played for laughs. It's absolutely nothing to get concerned about unless your entire existence is devoted to getting concerned about shit like this, and even then, this is what you focus your attention on? As regressive bullshit goes, it's oddly adorable.