Three Gross Things And A Little Plug

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Memo to Donald Trump, The Media, and Robert Bentley: YOU ARE DUMB.

I spent yesterday getting caught up on writing about Agents of SHIELD, that shitty Netflix Iron Fist show, and professional wrestling, so just a reminder to you all that OLDNERD is still a thing, and if you go there this weekend, you'll find out what I think about the Nintendo Switch, because I got one and some games and shit and one of those games was Zelda because of course it was. Also, SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

So, yesterday, the United States dropped a 22,000-pound conventional bomb in Afghanistan for the first time. The bomb, a GBU-43, was given the nickname "Mother of All Bombs by people who, as a result, should probably not be trusted to drop bombs on people. The bomb ostensibly targeted an ISIS compound, and was a complete success and totally necessary according to all the politicians, generals, and pundits who had to be shot from the waist up because they were tentpoling their slacks.

This presents us with an interesting application of Ockham's Razor. Which is more likely? That, for the first time since the bomb was developed around a couple of decades ago, after two wars and an ongoing campaign against a variety of terrorist groups, the perfect opportunity to use the closest thing we have to a nuke without being a nuke finally came up? Or that, a week after the Syrian missile strikes proved to Trump that people like him more when he blows things up he humbly requested that the military blow something big up, and the military, having sat on these big bombs for two decades, unable to use them because of pesky civilian casualties, jumped at the chance? I know where I'd put my money if they allowed betting on such things.


I haven't discussed the United fuckup yet, because, well, the rest of the Internet seems to be handling that quite nicely on its own, but I do want to talk about the now reflexive mindset of the media to hunt for any reason any victim of the corporate/law enforcement axis deserved whatever violent overreaction happened to them, especially if said victim happens to be non-white, because by getting beaten up, they expose the inherent injustices in our great society and are therefore a threat.

And so it was that media outlets did searches on Dr. Dao when his name came to light and discovered that 15 years ago, he got in trouble for being fast and loose with his prescription pad, and played professional poker while his medical license was suspended. The information was easy to find and in the public record, but why was it reported? Why was it relevant? Even if his hometown paper dug it up in a desperate grab for eyeballs, the only possible use for the information is to allow the borderline sociopaths who make up a significant fraction of our population to extinguish the tiny spark of empathy generated by this latest abuse of power. So, you know. Maybe think about that next time.


And finally, let's pour one out for former Alabama governor Robert Bently, forced to resign after he got caught gross-old-white-man-banging his (30ish years younger than him) aide, and then abusing his powers as governor to try to cover it up. He was, or course, a conservative Evangelical Republican, with the same kind of supporters who came out in droves to vote for Donald Trump in 2016, because they don't actually have values, they have a weird Pavlovian set of stimuli and their related responses drummed into the deep grooves in their brains by megachurch pastors and Fox News.

I don't have any real commentary on this case, mind you. It's just gross and sad and funny and despite it happening consistently and regularly, it somehow never makes anyone question their faith in these people and their institutions.