Buncha Cockholsters

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Memo to The House GOP and the Fire Colbert movement: YOU ARE DUMB.

There's that one big story that's super-timely, but there's also not a lot to say about it, so let's SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY a bit.

Let's be clear - yesterday was essentially the final, twitching death throes of the Schoolhouse Rock / seventh grade civics class view of American government. A bunch of people voted for a bill they didn't read, didn't understand, and lied constantly about because they'd spent eight years being mad at a black guy for accomplishing something, to make a petulant man-child feel good about himself and maintain some kind of Kabuki theater about their ability to govern.

I mean, don't get me wrong. The Freedom Caucus voted for the bill specifically because they made it kick poor people harder. That's because, as mentioned previously in this space, they have principles. They're abhorrent principles. They're Objectivist wet dreams removed entirely from both empathy and reality. But they have them and they vote accordingly, and while you can't respect that, you can at least appreciate it as the principles of American government correctly applied, albeit by evil fuckers with evil goals.

But moderates? Moderates don't have any fucking principles. That's why they're moderates. That's why this worked and the last one didn't. Because every single time we hear about Republican moderates being uncomfortable with or uneasy about voting for some hideous piece of legislation, put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye, because every single fucking time, they peel off enough of them to pass their slogan-based legislation and save face and chalk up a "win", because that's all that matters to moderates. Wins and losses and power and just enough cover so that the people they fuck over forget how much they got fucked over the next time an election rolls around.

So we turn to the Senate, where there are two slivers of hope. The first sliver of hope is that they crafted this thing so hastily, and fucked up so badly, that the CBO will score it as actually adding to the deficit. It's unlikely, because they cut almost a trillion dollars from health care to poor people to make sure that wouldn't happen, but they're also very bad at their jobs, so maybe they won't be able to use budget reconciliation to pass it. Or they'll just discount the CBO score and do it anyway because America.

The other hope is that the Senate can only afford two defections. And while we can't count on the moderates in the Senate, the Senate does have a few hardline sociopaths in it who might think this bill won't kill enough babies or piss off the previous president enough. And since they aren't moderates, their deep, unwavering callousness could save us all. Welcome to our government. This is how we live now.


As a straight male, I am willing to defer to the judgment of others from the affected community over whether the phrase "Putin's cockholster" in reference to Trump's mouth is offensively homophobic. I know that the long cultural history of negative connotation to male dicksuckery comes from widespread homophobia. I also know that language and culture changes and that it's possible for people to make a distinction between loving, consensual dicksuckery and the kind of power/dominance-based dicksuckery that would be involved in a Trump-Putin metaphor. I'll leave that judgment up to others. But not all the others.

You know who I won't leave that judgment to? A bunch of right-wing assholes on Twitter with an axe to grind who are wielding the term "homophobia" thinking it's some kind of Social Justice Judo. Because every time they try to play this game, they do so from a deep, fundamental misunderstanding. They think you get called these bad names, and everyone's supposed to react to the bad name and socially ostracize/fire/cancel the offending party. After all, they've all seen their friends and their idols be taken down by these names, even though the actions that led to these names were totally innocent and political correctness is just running amuck.

But that's not how it actually works. There is, for all the talk about the "culture of outrage" and single incidents ruining people's lives forever, still a general tendency that when these things happen, and they reinforce or magnify an element of someone's personality that we all know about. If, for example, Bill O'Reilly had been fired for dropping an N-bomb, the N-bomb wouldn't have made him a racist, it would have confirmed it beyond the incredibly generous benefit of the doubt he'd already been given. Most of these people don't get fired for their first offense. Colbert's insult doesn't fall in with a general pattern of homophobia, so flinging that term at him isn't going to stick. But keep trying this shit. It keeps you off the streets.