The Fuckers Know

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Memo to Trump Supporters: OH YEAH. YOU FUCKIN' KNOW

Despite hundreds upon hundreds of articles profiling them in the "liberal" media, discussing things like their economic insecurity and how they feel alienated from society despite being in charge of it in pretty much every single way that matters, the question is, do they know? Do they know that they've hitched their wagon and their very sense of self to a bloated pile of garbage that nobody likes and is cratering the country at every opportunity?

Yes. Yes they do. They may not acknowledge it. They may not even realize it. But they know. And we know they know because that knowledge makes them react to nonexistent stimuli like Shaggy reacts to a creaking door. They overreacted to Julius Ceasar looking like Trump, even though the point of Julius Caesar is that assassination is bad, mmmkay?

But they also repeatedly react to to shit that's not about Donald Trump as if it were, and the latest example is the most hilarious yet. NPR tweeting out the Declaration of Independence on Independence Day.

What makes this the best yet is the sheer number of context clues you have to ignore in order to fuck this up. You have to not realize that all those fireworks and hot-dog-eating contests and such are celebrating the signing of the Declaration of Independence. You have to think, for some reaosn, that the old-timey language of the Founding Fathers is just how those high-falutin, multi-culti hippies over at NPR speak. And you have to be bone fucking stupid.

But more than anything else, you have to know, deep in your heart of hearts, that Donald Trump is a festering pile of random syllables and rotting meat who doesn't even recognize his own limo when it's right in front of his sneering fucking turd of a face. You know it's going badly, you know it's only going to get worse, you know you're gonna lose your health insurance, and you know, when all is said and done, America's not going to be great again.

So you cling to Trump the way conservatives of a bygone era clung to their guns and their religion, and at the slightest wisp of potential anti-Trump sentiment, you shoot off faster than a 14-year-old's first time with unmonitored Internet. And that's how we know you know. Have fun.