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« January 2018 »

Memo to America: HE IS DUMB.

Tonight is Donald Trump’s first State of the Union speech, and I beg all of you, don’t pay attention to it. In my ideal world, the only people to attend it would be Republicans and the only news outlet to cover it will be Fox.

Because there are only two possibilities. The first, and most likely, is that he’ll deliver his prepared and pre-written remarks, designed by his staff in the official Mostly Sane Trumpian Style, and then Trump’ll do that thing where every three lines or so he makes a comment on what he just said like it’s the first time he’s heard it because it’s the first time he’s heard it.

If that happens, the media will treat it as a masterful tour de force, as Trump once again gets lifted by eight white supremacist buddies over the lowest possible bar any President should ever have to clear. all for regurgitating the most banal of his campaign promises and Twitter brags and we will all be subjected to the usual Hey, He Didn’t Noticeably Shit Himself coverage by the usual gang of Washington types with a vested interest in proclaiming that the system is still on the rails despite all evidence to the contrary.

The other possibility, of course, is that he won’t be able to do that. That there will be a tangent or two that become The News for the rest of the week, which will in many ways be worse. Because those tangents will invariably be attacks on the media or Hillary Clinton or whoever his latest celebrity enemy is. It’ll be something that distracts from what’s actually going on this week.

And what’s happening this week is the culmination of a month-long effort by Trump’s enablers in the Republican Party to, ideally, retain the power they wield by having a criminal moron from their party as President, or, barring that, to make sure none of the hordes of idiots who vote for them ever question their woldview or change their voting patterns in any way should Trump get in any actual trouble for being a criminal moron.

They’re doing this by creating and enabling an elaborate conspiracy in which the FBI and the Justice Department, full of “deep state” Obama fans, is manufacturing all the dumb shit Trump and his dumb family and their dumb campaign did with the Russians before and after the election.

This effort by the way, includes the House Intelligence Committee, who on paper were charged with investigating the fact that Trump is a criminal moron, and instead, under the stewardship of World’s Greatest Toady Devin Nunes, are about to release a GOP-authored “memo” that supposedly “proves” this conspiracy exist, planting the suggestion as deeply as possible in the shallow minds of the fever swamp so that nobody will even read the memo, they’ll just point to it as “proof” Sean Hannity was right.

You don’t need to watch the State of the Union address. The state of the union is fuuuuuuuuuuuucked.