In The Enemy's Own Words

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Memo to Dana Rohrbacker: YOU ARE THE ENEMY.

We've discussed The Enemy before in this space. The forces of repression and regression. The bigots, the bastards, the fascists, the assholes, the aiders, the abetters, the corrupt, the corrupters, the rednecks, the racists, the enablers, and the apologists. They are the enemy of what our society should be, what it wishes it could be. They turn fire hoses on blacks, yell outside abortion clinics, keep you from marrying because your crotch matches your spouse's, and tell you the Flood made the Grand Canyon.

California Republican Congressman Dana Rohrbacker is the Enemy. He joined this ignominous crew for good on Friday when he showed up on CNN's Situation Room to give us all a preview of the indefensible defense we discussed yesterday - the authorizing of warrantless surveillance of Americans by the President. What follows are not exaggerations, they are not fiction, they are not the clever creations of some over-the-top dystopian novel of authoritarians run amok. These are actual, these are quotes, and it is time.

"I'm really sorry that we have this kind of evil enemy that wants to slaughter us, but I'm very happy that we have a president that, six months after they slaughtered 3,000 of our citizens, he decided to follow up on a lead that was given to our people by breaking up an al Qaeda cell in Pakistan, and followed through on that to make sure that there wasn't another imminent attack, and thus probably saving many thousands of American lives. We can be proud of President Bush for protecting us." - Dana Rohrbacker.

Let's assume that's all true. I know it's not easy, but let's accept the eight-year-old mentality that there really is a force of pure evil out to mindlessly slaughter Americans because they hate our freedoms. Ignore all inherent irony in that. Take it as given that we really did break up a terrorist cell in Pakistan who were really going to launch an imminent attack after 9/11. And that we really did, not "probably", because even Rohrbacker isn't aspiring to that level of omniscience, but that we really truly did save many thousands of lives.

It's been three and a half years since that first abuse of power, during which time that abuse has been repeated dozens and dozens of times. Rohrbacker wants us to believe that every single time it was used, the exact same scenario exists, and will continue to exist, and it's only Bush's bold abandonment of the rule of law that protects us from those who would put C4 in our corn flakes. This is insanity.

"And by the way, how do we know who wasn't deterred from blowing up other targets." - Dana Rohrbacker.

There's your standard, folks. Imagine the worst possible outcome, and assume it as solid fact. They're not trampling our freedoms for no good reason, they're doing it to protect you from any possible bad thing they can come up with to throw in your face on a news show. Don't you feel better? You won't after this.

"First of all, let us note that all this eavesdropping on Americans were that, there were some people living in the United States, whether they're American citizens or not -- we don't know how many are American citizens -- that were involved with contacts overseas. This is eavesdropping on people who were doing international calls and the list that we got, came from what -- came from an al Qaeda cell that we broke up in Pakistan." - Rohrbacker.

The sheer number of things we are expected to take at face value here is astonishing. First, there's the chicken and the egg problem. Not only does the eavesdropping stop the Pakistan cell, the Pakistan cell then goes on to justify the eavesdropping! There's a list! A terrorist list! And we'd never, ever get a name on a list wrong. Felons in Florida, people not allowed to fly, if there's one thing we've learned, it's that when the government has a list, that list can be trusted implicitly. But Rohrbacker's just getting warmed up.

"You know, I'll have to tell you, if it was up to Mr. Schumer, Senator Schumer, they probably would have blown up the Brooklyn Bridge." - FUCK YOU, you short-sighted, jack-booted, apologist thug. The "plot against the bridge" wasn't even a real plot. This would be the single most reprehensible thing I'd heard in months, if it weren't for the fact that this rectum-licking toadie KEPT TALKING.

"Well, I'll tell you something, if a nuclear weapon goes off in Washington, DC, or New York or Los Angeles, it'll burn the Constitution as it does. So I'm very happy we have a president that's going to wiretap people's communication with people overseas to make sure that they're not plotting to blow up one of our cities." - Again, and I know you know this, but it needs to be repeated, these are the actual words of California congressman Dana Rohrbacker, Republican, claiming that the only way to protect the physical piece of paper containing the founding ideals of our nation is to violate the founding ideals of our nation.

And this is why he is the Enemy. They're not even paying lip service to upholding the Constitution anymore. They can do anything they want, to anyone they want, as long as they can claim afterwards that they probably saved some lives while doing it. The only thing that can stop them is if you stop letting them, and the only way you can stop letting them is to gain an attention span, stop being spun, and at the very least learn that this shit is going on and remember that it happened two weeks from now.