Exo-Duh

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And speaking of the nature of evil, memo to Exodus International: YOU ARE DUMB.

Over a year and a half ago, I declared creationists The Stupidest People On The Planet. And I still stand by this. No matter how dumb, how stupid, how moronic you are, as long as you think the earth is more than 6,000 years old, there's someone more stupider than you out there.

But there are people I hate more than creationists. They're not dumber, but they're crueler. They're more self-righteous. More dangerous, and more harmful. They are Exodus International and the rest of the "ex-gay" ministries who try to cure homosexuality.

And of course, I've brought them up before. Hell, just a couple of weeks ago, I brought up how they love to beat off their dirty pillows while thinking about their mothers. But because they're so vile, so hateful, and so very, very wrong, they become a sort of canary in the coal mine of popular opinion.

How well the incredibly fucked-up Exodus International is treated is a clear indicator of how incredibly fucked-up our society is. And if Dubya and the AP are anything to go by, the canary's revivified corpse is currently pecking at all of our skulls, looking for brains and coming up empty.

We all know, for example, that President Bush tried to desperately reinflate his flaccid presidency this week. And who better to turn to for that kind of blowjob than the rabid bigots clamoring for a constitutional amendment against gay marriage? But it wasn't just the Focus On The Falwell types invited to Bush's Yay Straights speech* on Monday. Also in attendance were Alan Chambers and Randy Thomas, the two porn-namiest members of Exodus International, who'd been invited to the White House for the first time.

Which is, as gracious treatment goes, almost as nice as the AP's Travis Reed treated them.

One thing about journalism that most people realize is that the ideal journalism is objective. Now, objective is not fair. Objective is not balanced. Objective does not give equal weight to both sides of an issue. Objective is OBJECTIVE. You say what happens. You say what things are. An objective look at ex-gay ministries would paint them as they are - a dangerous fringe element that lures desperate self-loathing religious homosexuals in and teaches them repression through psychologically dubious techniques.

Travis Reed was fair to Exodus International. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"But now, at age 34, he has been out of homosexuality for more than seven years." - Not just fair, but spreading actual falsehood - stating in opposition to all known fact that homosexuality is like a country club or the gangsta lifestyle, something you can spend seven years "out of".

"He lived a gay life for nine years before he saw his world falling apart. He was $25,000 in debt, his mother was sick and he returned to Oklahoma to help care for her." - Let me remind you, this is the ASSOCIATED PRESS. This isn't some right-wing flyer or 700 Club transcript. Travis Reed just associated homosexuality with consumer debt and sick mothers.

"Like Alcoholics Anonymous, Chambers estimates, Exodus has about a one-third immediate success rate. Another third decide they were happy being gay in the first place, while the remaining third remain somewhere in between." - I guaranfuckingtee you Chambers fed Reed the comparison to AA. AA is an organization that tries to help people stop dangerous, life-destroying behavior through, among other things, the power of God. Putting Exodus up against a respected (by many) institution like AA is just the kind of "we're not crazy fuckers" publicity Exodus needs to hurt more people.

Well, fuck Travis Reed. Fuck his fairness, fuck his puff-piece on crazy pillow-spanking Jesus-freaks. Fuck Exodus International, and their White House invitation, and whatever political whore decided it would be a good idea to have them in situ during Bush's attempt to keep all the crazy bigoted assholes in his corner. You are, collectively, the scum of the earth, and I can only hope that you'll soon be relegated to the shit-covered village-idiot status you so richly deserve.

*Originally planned for the Rose Garden, then moved indoors, presumably for a less embarrassing photo op.