The Brain In The Plastic Bubble

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Memo to home-schooling advocates: YOU ARE DUMB.

Now, before the hue and cry gets underway, before the tar is warmed up and the pitchforks sharpened, let me state right off the bat that there are two types of home-schoolers, and I only have a problem with one of them.

You see, the first type of home-schooler is a parent who believes that the education their child would get in the public school system is inadequate for their needs, and thus makes the decision to teach their child themselves in order to give them a proper education.

Whereas the SECOND type of home-schooler is a parent who believes that the education their child would get in the public school system is inadequate for their needs, and thus makes the decision to teach their child themselves in order to give them a proper education. And is an idiot.

It is a subtle but useful difference. Or to put it another way - some parents home-school because they're afraid the public schools won't teach their kid enough. And some parents home-school because they're afraid the public schools will teach their children wrong.

The ones I have a problem with are the ones who are afraid of the public school instilling facts that may interfere with the parents worldview. You know, facts like dinosaurs existing, or homosexuals being human. This hasn't been a huge problem in the past because at some point, the kid has to interact with what I like to think of as the "actual universe", and, like a primitive fish crawling onto dry land, either learns to breathe facts or dies off.

But then I read about Patrick Henry College. In Virginia. The perfect example of why the free market sucks. Patrick Henry, you see, caters almost exclusively to conservative Christian homeschooled students. And how do they do this while providing a quality educational experience? They can't. But if these kids and their parents were interested in a quality educational experience, they wouldn't be conservative Christian homeschoolers, would they?

No, Patrick Henry College markets a product to a known audience who wants it both ways. They want a college degree, but they don't want to know things. Just like 2000 Flushes promises you a clean toilet without scrubbing. But at the end of the day, something's full of shit. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"There are some creationists who are anti-intellectual in approach. I don't believe you have to check your brain at the door to be a creationist." - Jennifer Gruenke, biology teacher, PHU.

OK, everyone, in unison, the punchline. "...BUT IT HELPS!" Of course a creationist would say that. But you can't believe them, because they've checked their fucking brains at the fucking door. And lost the ticket.

Colleges like PHU extend the bubble by another four years or more. The safe, protective coddling of brains that believe what they're told because they've spent their entire lives learning to believe what they're told. And it's not stopping there. According to the article that quote comes from, "many [PHU grads] go on to prestigious internships in the White House and Congress"

It's a fucking 'tardfarm. An entire support system from kindergarten through retirement designed to allow for the survival of ideas and beliefs that would otherwise lose out in the great Darwinian memetic ecosystem. Vat-grown troops for the holy war against science and tolerance.

Our only hope is to get Tom Cruise to sneeze on them.