Why Things Suck, Part 8,248

« September 2006 »

Memo to the House of Representatives: DUMB AGAIN.

People! Please! Show some fucking mercy! I only have so much free time in the day for red-hazed rage towards congressional moronitude. And most of that is directed at the fact that it's about to abandon the two simplest and most basic of human rights - don't torture people, and don't lock them up for life without a trial. This is simple, basic Bad Shit You Do Not Allow, and my foot is twitching constantly because it can't decide who it wants to kick first - the people trying to make it happen, the people rolling over and letting it happen, or the people who trusted JOHN MOTHERFUCKING MCCAIN to do something about it. Twitchy twitch twitch twitch.

But I can't even write about the torture thing, because if I do, I'll just be parroting the decent lefty blogs, plus my Livejournal readers might explode. Suffice it to say that my remaining tolerance for this Congress is smaller than the amount of useful work they've accomplished. NOT AN EASY FEAT. And then I have to go and hear about the Public Expression of Religion Act.

If you know anything about the current climate and political nomenclature, your veins are already throbbing. It's worse than it sounds, except for the strong likelihood that it'll never become law. But still, when you hear what 244 representatives, including 26 Democrats, voted for, you will find it's piss-poor prospects for passage a shitty salve.

What the Act does is purest evil. It prevents plaintiffs from being awarded legal fees when they successfully sue based on the Establishment Clause. That's the church/state chunk of the First Amendment, in case you were wondering.

You see, what was happening was that people were suing various levels and branches of government for being too damn Jesusy, and they were winning. And when they won, they got their court costs paid, because, well, this shit is expensive, and you can't really collect damages. Since the right loves Jesus, and loves Jesusvotes more still, they wanted to put a stop to it. But even through their thick proto-skulls, they realized they couldn't just get away with making it illegal to sue someone for violating the Constitution. Or making it illegal for judges to rule on those suits.

So instead, being mostly Republicans, they decided to let market forces do their work for them, and are trying to pass a law making it prohibitively expensive. Now, cities, states, and the federal government can appeal all they want, knowing that most people simply can't afford to keep up. That's our tax dollars being used to outlast people who just want to sit through a fucking school board meeting without having to take Communion or wrestle a snake. Well, as far as the House is concerned, tough titties. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"Liberal groups . . . scour the country looking to sue cities and states with any kind of religious display, regardless of how popular these displays are." - Florida representative Ginny Brown-Waite, who apparently thinks the Bill of Rights is handled a lot like the finals of American Idol.

Anyway, this fucking disgrace masquerading as legislation passed the House 244-173. Notable supporters included local boy Mark Kennedy, who's going down faster in November than the lobbyists he hooks up with in his office restroom.

For the rest of you, look here for the names of your local representatives, and... I don't know. If they're GOP, you'll be punishing them anyway, and if they're Dems, it's too late to punish them electorally. And I can't legally recommend you key their cars or put flaming bags of poop on their doorsteps. Plus it'd probably get you shot. But still - remember their names, and remember what utter failures they are.

If they keep this shit up, I'll NEVER get around to marvelling at how necrophilia is legal in Wisconsin.