Make A Run For The Caliphate

« October 2007 »


Since Tuesday marks what could be considered the center-left of Islamofascism Awareness week, my plan was actually to take the center-left approach to the whole concept of Islamofascism. However, it turns out that ten paragraphs of fretting mildly about small policy details whilst shitting myself every time a right-winger sees an Arab threat is exactly as funny as you'd think it is.

IFAW*, started Monday and ends Friday, further reinforcing our Judeo-Christian heritage by slacking off on Saturday and Sunday. It's the stunted ass-child of David Horowitz, who was finally able to combine his two favoritest things in the whole world: xenophobia, and bitching about how xenophobia isn't an accredited major at most American universities.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of the traditional observance of Islamofascist Awareness Week. I think it's beautiful the way a new cross is lit each day until, by Friday, the detailing on the mosques is really brought out by the flickering light. I just hate the way Horowitz has politicized it.

I mean, they've got Rick Santorum going to three Pennsylvania colleges "to offer a perspective our students rarely hear - my views on who our true enemies are, what they believe, and why it is so important to defeat them."

First of all, if Rick Santorum needs money that bad during IFAW, he can stand outside of Wal-Mart with a bell and a kettle and sing "The Caliphate Is Comin' To Town" along with the rest of us. And second, how exactly is that a perspective students rarely hear? I went to a state school in the early 90's, and even then the dorms had cable.

Horowitz himself admits his goal is a simple one. And I agree, assuming we mean "simple" in the Flowers For Algernon kind of way. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"The purpose of this protest is as simple as it is crucial: to confront the two Big Lies of the political left: that George Bush created the war on terror and that Global Warming is a greater danger to Americans than the terrorist threat. Nothing could be more politically incorrect than to point this out. But nothing could be more important for American students to hear.

Ignoring his tortured syntax and assuming "politically incorrect" refers to what he wants it to refer to instead of what his sentence structure demands, um, that's not political correctness. Or incorrectness. Or whatever. Here's a little thought experiment. Let's add up the damage, in property and lives, caused by Muslim fundamentalist terror attacks in, oh, let's say ever. Not just in America, even. I'll broaden the scope in Horowitz's favor, since if you just count America he sounds even crazier. Fix that amount in your head. The buildings and the 3,000 people from 9/11, the London bombings, the Spain bombings, hell, even the stuff in Iraq. Stack it up.

Now raise the seas a foot.

I'm supposed to sit here and trust the relative threat assessment abilities a bunch of people who think the United States is in danger of being under SHARIA LAW within their lifetimes? And not the kind of sharia law Rick Santorum would love, either, but for real, honest-to-goodness, Katie Couric in a burqa sharia law? They say it's not paranoia if they're really out to get you, but what if they're out to get you while having no means whatsoever to actually do so? Does that get you back to being diagnosed as a raving fucking lunatic who should be putting up Raving Fucking Lunatic Awareness Week flyers? I think it does.

*You know, as in "I fought I faw a scaaaaawy Muswim!