You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for most Tuesdays and the occasional fuckbotch. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. For a take on what a blog by me would be like, check out OLDNERD.
Memo to creepy dudes, Anthony Senecal, and George Zimmerman: YOU ARE DUMB.
Seriously, people, what the fuck? It seems like we can't go a week without new people coming out as awful, or previously known awful people crawling back out of the woodwork to find new ways to be awful. And then there's centuries of social conditioning that causes people to think being awful is perfectly normal. Gird your spiritual loins for a truly awful SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!
I lied to you. Even as I wrote it, I knew I was lying to you. See, when I discuss the ongoing Bathroom Wars in America, I often say how there's no reason whatsoever to worry about bathroom privacy, regardless of the gender or the perceived gender of the people in the bathroom. And for the most part, that's true, but there is one huge exception to this rule, and that's the fact that cis straight dudes can be creeps.
You see, decades-to-centuries of Puritanical obsession with controlling and repressing sexuality has led to a cultural tendency amongst cis straight men to sexualize pretty much anything that involves the removal of any women's clothing. Which means that they've sexualized women peeing and shitting in public restrooms, which is weird and stupid and gross. You know how back in the day, dudes would spurt in their pantaloons at an inch of ankle skin? This is kind of like that, only now states are going to ruin completely innocent people's everyday lives in order to account for it. Which is, in many ways, worse than doing it for no reason at all.
So, Donald Trump's butler/"historian" is a goddamned monster, too. Anthony Senecal, who brought Trump mini corn dogs and Red Bull/vodka shots on silver platters (I can only assume) for 17 years before becoming the historian at Trump's Florida estate, has been posting things to Facebook for years that would make Sean Hannity send them back to his writers and ask them to tone it down.
It's a complete inventory of the fever-swamp, e-mail forward, horrible Thanksgiving uncle shit, from Obama being guilty of treason (and appropiate punishment for such that the Secret Service is now investigating), to carpet-bombing Ferguson, to all the words you'd expect to see directed at Hillary Clinton. Just super-racist, super-toxic stuff. It's weird how Trump attracts all these nutjobs and white supremacists. Wonder why that is. Oh well, no need to analyze it too closely. Not like he's the nominee for president or anything.
And speaking of pieces of shit from Florida, George Zimmerman, quite possibly the single worst person the Right has ever chosen to canonize simply on the grounds that liberals were angry with him, somehow searched his soul and found a way to be even less classy, which is impressive for a murderer and serial domestic abuser. He wants to auction off the gun he killed Trayvon Martin with for at least $5,000 and use the proceeds to "fight Black Lives Matter".
Admittedly, I'm not sure how two months of back rent and a bunch of cheap beer will "fight Black Lives Matter", but that's OK, because first, Zimmerman will have to find an online gun auction site willing to endure the bad publicity of hosting the auction. When people who sell used guns on the Internet want nothing to do with you, you know you've made some poor life choices. Still, at least America's commentariat have a bunch of news stories, complete with comments sections, where they can relitigate Trayvon Martin's death. Maybe Trump's butler can join in. I'm sure his views are enlightened.