You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns when it can manage to in these troubled Trumpian times. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. For a take on what a blog by me would be like, check out OLDNERD.
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The Media And The General PublicMemo to the media and the general public: YOU ARE DUMB. Now I know it's a bit early in the life of the site to be passing out generalized proclamations like that, but I'm afraid it's true. Luckily, there are a series of exceptions which I will detail.
The rest of y'all are fuckin' dumb. I mean, even by the devalued, prostituted, left-for-dead-by-the-side-of-the-road standard that separates "news" from "not news" these days, this is NOT NEWS. Not important. Not relevant in any single way, shape, or form to the daily lives of all but about half a dozen people on the planet, and even to most of them, who either participated in the incident or the aftermath, it ain't that huge. It's not as if Ms. Spears nee Mrs. Alexander nee Ms. Spears actually did anything beyond the pale or particularly egregious. She killed no puppies, ate no dolphins, vomited on no Japanese officials, and does not receive a million bucks a year from Halliburton. This is a non-event even by the standards of normal folk, much less pop stars. I mean, do we really need to devote an entire week-plus of the news cycle to someone who lived through a bad sitcom plot? And you know what the topper is? We're going to be hearing about this for the rest of the Spears Spawn's lifespan. No major life event reportage will be complete without one paragraph memorializing her Vegas escapade. That paragraph will be there, I guarantee, when she gets married for real, when/if she breeds, and in her obituary. It'll be in 94.2% of the reviews of her next album. It is, from this point forward, an inescapable chunk of our cultural milieu, our psychic flotsam and jetsam. And why? Why did this happen? Because, with the exception of those enumerated above, YOU ARE DUMB.![]() |