Bathroom Quickie

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Memo to Rick Scott, Ted Cruz, and The Enemies of Satan and Porn: YOU ARE DUMB.

The news is almost entirely Prince-based right now, so let's just do a super-quick SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY into a quick update on America's Stupidest Issue, the great Bathroom Wars of 2016.

CURT SCHILLING: Somoene's ass got fiiiiiiired. Apparently after seven demonstrated instances of going on the Internet and being the opposite of inclusive, ESPN felt he was no longer suitable for their inclusive organization. Oh well.

TARGET: Doesn't give a shit which bathroom you use.

DONALD TRUMP: Doesn't give a shit which bathroom you use, because he's come to terms with integration.

SARAH PALIN: Very angry at ESPN.

TED CRUZ: Very angry at both ESPN and Donald Trump.

RETROGRADE CONSERVATIVES: Very angry at Target, calling for boycott, boycott will fail.

WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH: Raising hell at at an LA school that opened a unisex bathroom last week because apparently that's bad too.

THIS WHOLE ISSUE: Officially the dumbest, most baseless, bullshit fight the wingnuts have ever picked in the so-called "culture wars".

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