She Ain't Gonna E-Mail You!

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Memo to the media, re: Hillary Clinton's e-mail: YOU CAN'T MAKE ME CARE.

On one hand, I am told that Hillary Clinton's use of a personal e-mail account with its own server that she used to conduct a mix of personal and State Department business was a horrific breach of protocol that might have been illegal and certainly was an unprecedented breach of government transparency.

On the other hand, I am told that Hillary Clinton's use of a personal e-mail account was perfectly acceptable, and this is just the latest in a series of phony scandals presented by Republicans and a media who knows what kind of ratings a Clinton scandal draws, due to their longstanding experience covering and also making up a bunch of Clinton scandals in the past.

As with all these things, the truth lies somewhere between the two. And as is also with all of these things, the truth lies a hell of a lot closer to one side than the other.

It's true that Clinton, by all account, handled her e-mails in a way that was in line with State Department rules while she was Secretary of State. It's also true that those rules, like most rules designed to ensure good behavior from politicians, had loopholes big enough to drive a truck through. It's also true that those rules were tightened up last year. It's also true that the motivation for tightening those rules up was BENGHAZI.

Remember when we didn't find any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? And remember how, for a while, before settling on "we found some rotting hummus in an old storage locker and that was totally the WMD", the right-wing response to not finding them was "Iraq moved them to Syria"?

Well, guess what, that same desperation to cling to long-held beliefs is the real reason for the Clinton e-mail scandal. Any damage to her reputation or campaign are merely side effect. From now on, if you are so clueless as to mention to a wingnut that even Republican investigations led by Darrell "What Is Evidence" Issa couldn't pin anything on Hillary, from now on, all the evidence that she personally dressed up like a ninja and murdered the entire population of Benghazi singlehandedly was in fact hidden on the SECRET E-MAIL SERVER.

And, yes, the media is running with this largely because they are awful and worthless and want eyeballs more than truth.

Is any of this fair? Nope. Do I give a shit? Nope. I've taken this stance on Hillary before. She knows who she is. She knows what her baggage is. If she wants to be president, and isn't prepared to or able to deal with at least five different bullshit made-up scandals between now and November 2016, then she won't get to be president.

So bring on the fake scandals! Bring as many as you can, preferably before the Democratic convention. If Hillary can't pull it off, I'd rather it be just her that loses instead of, you know. America.

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