You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for most Tuesdays and the occasional fuckbotch. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. For a take on what a blog by me would be like, check out OLDNERD.
Memo to racist America and Bloomingdale's: YOU ARE DUMB.
I say this often. I am deeply, deeply cynical, and frequently assume the worst about humanity as a whole. And yet, even with that deep cynicism, for some reason I still believe that there's an upper limit on the awfulness, that there has been progress. And that belief leads me to disappointment as I watch lines get crossed with impunity and shit we should have been long past decades ago resurface. SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!
Here's how incredibly racist we are. A group of black college students can't achieve a protest victory without at least THREE different presidential candidates decrying it. This is racism, pure and simple, and yes, that includes Ben Carson, who, along with Trump and Christie, felt the need to attack people of color for, well, winning something. winning something over two white people who were forced to resign because, amongst other things, they failed to do enough about a campus climate where some fuckwit would draw a swastika on a wall in human shit.
It's now official Republican Party policy that people of color are always wrong about everything. That no white person ever does anything bad to a black person unless the black person deserved it. For fuck's sake, the Breitbart wing of the far right spent a week trying to claim the shit swastika was a hoax before a police report was released yesterday that showed a picture of it, at which point it became no big deal, a harmless prank, and evidence that black people are appropriating Jewish outrage at swastikas.
But that's racists on the Internet. That's no big deal. Chris Christie blaming the protests on Obama's culture of lawlessness is a big deal. Ben Carson's claim that this is another step down the road to anarchy is a big problem. Donald Trump's completely disjointed statement where he seems to think the whole thing is "disgusting" is slightly less of a problem just because the Trump implosion has officially begun. Nobody else has weighed in yet, but isn't that enough?
And not that it needs saying, but this is about campus "free speech" as much as GamerGate was about "ethics in game jounralism". It's about two rich white people being very temporarily inconvenienced and how much that terrifies you. But by all means, die on the hill of opposing all consequences for screaming the N-word at black people. It'll make your political culling that much easier.
And speaking of tone-deaf assholes, Bloomingdale's.
The department store recently apologized for a page in its holiday catalog that featured the sentence "Spike your best friend's eggnog when they're not looking." To make matters worse, the accompanying art clearly identified the spiker as a leering male and the spikee as a young woman. Bloomingdale's apology read as follows: "In reflection of recent feedback, the copy we used in our recent catalog was inappropriate and in poor taste. Bloomingdale’s sincerely apologizes for this error in judgment."
Forget the date rape subtext. It's almost impossible to, but try to ignore it. Under what circumstances is it OK to make someone drink alcohol without them knowing? This isn't a 1950s Christmas party, for fuck's sake. If Saved By The Bell, 25 years ago, had done an episode where someone spiked their best friend's drink, it would have been a cautionary tale about how you shouldn't spike your best friend's drink! But you needed to reflect on feedback to realize this? Why is Bloomingdale's holiday catalog being put together by men 20 years over retirement age? Don't apologize for the what. Explain the how and the why. Because that's the part nobody understands.