Seven Oops

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Memo to Ricky Diaz, Curt Schilling, and Donald Trump: YOU ARE DUMB.

You know how you know it's a rough week for IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!? The Donald Trump quote is the light palate cleanser after all the hateful awfulness. The American right's decision to die on the culture war hill of public restroom policing is sort of darkly amusing in its desperation, but it's also bringing out an even more toxic, more insane level of bigotry, again, because of the desperation.

“The reality is that while these and other groups unfairly target North Carolina, they often tour and play shows in the 29 other states with similar levels of anti-discrimination protections as North Carolina. If you are writing on the selective outrage expressed by these bands in canceling their North Carolina shows, you should also ask if they plan on canceling the shows they’re playing in these states." - Ricky Diaz, spokesman for North Carolina governor Pat McRory.

This, of course, is all about North Carolina's "bathroom bill", which in turn is all about the completely irrational feeling stupid people have that other people's happiness threatens them in some way. Anyway, the governor's office is coming out hard against the Springsteens and the Pearl Jams and the Bostons who won't play North Carolina in the wake of the bathroom bill, which means that the boycotts are clearly working.

And sure other states have "similar" laws. But "similar" is not "the same". North Carolina's mad because everyone's picking on them for being shitheads, but they're not the first state where true believer Republicans pushed their bigoted agenda into or nearly into law only to find that all the good stuff, like non-chicken-selling businesses and decent rock bands (and apparently also Boston, so good for them) do not appreciate that shit one bit. And sure, it would be nice if it were more consistent and went further, but the fact that it doesn't is not actually an argument for it never happening at all, no matter how much North Carolina wishes that were so.

"A man is a man no matter what they call themselves. I don't care what they are, who they sleep with, men's room was designed for the penis, women's not so much. Now you need laws telling us differently? Pathetic.” - ESPN's Curt Schilling, being shitty on Facebook

You'd think, given that he was suspended from ESPN for months for being shitty to Muslims on the Internet, you'd think he'd know better than to post hateful anti-trans memes and quotes like the one above on Facebook. But apparently not. And the thing is, Curt Schilling does care "what they are". I don't know why he needs to insist that genetics and anatomy define gender despite all evidence to the contrary, but he clearly does. As do many people. Many stupid assholes who feel compelled to insist other people suffer to maintain some false sense of "how things are so they don't have to cope with something that doesn't even affect them.

Oh, and of all the dumbfuck "plumbing" arguments I've heard bigots invoke to justify hating gay and trans people, "urinals are a thing" is the dumbestfuckest one of all. Some men's rooms don't even have urinals. Sometimes people shit. Just because Curt Schilling has shit coming out of all his orifices doesn't mean the rest of us poop with our dicks. I mean, it even sounds like Schilling realizes halfway through his sentence that he's on shaky ground with the toilet thing, and he's, like, super fucking dumb.

“I wrote this out, and it's very close to my heart. Because I was down there and I watched our police and our firemen down at 7-Eleven, down at the World Trade Center right after it came down. And I saw the greatest people I've ever seen in action.” - Donald Trump, because that's fucking funny.

There's no deeper point. No real political hay to make. Donald Trump's just a dummy whose brain couldn't stop him from replacing the date we're supposed to "never forget" with a convenience store chain. And, you know what? They're really only one number off. It's a simple mistake. No real need to go too crazy about it, or read too much into it. Actually, now that I've said that, maybe I do have a slightly deeper point to make.

A while ago, a certain president replaced a number with a "7" in a slip of the tongue. And for YEARS, no right-wing asshat could let a comments thread go ten comments deep before bringing up that one time Barack Obama said we had fifty-seven states. And I guarantee you that, should Trump become president, the left will not harp on this mistake in the same manner. Not because we're better people, but because we won't have any fucking time to while we're busy mocking the, well, 57 other dumb fucking things President Trump said that week.

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