You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Memo to Bill Cassidy, Trey Radel, and Dinesh D'Souza: THANKS, TURKEYS!
What can I say. I'm thankful for simple things. I'm thankful for awful people being awful in really obviously awful ways so that everyone can see how awful they are, even if they're trying to pretend they aren't awful. They make my work so very easy. IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS, PRE-THANKSGIVING EDITION!
"You know, someone told me about that, but what is important about that is the article in which Senator Landrieu voted to give ... dictatorial powers to the Democratic party in the U.S. Senate, and in that now, after 200 and something years of our republic, Democrats in the Senate have the ability to appoint judges among other races to D.C circuit without having any sort of buy-in from Republicans. The importance of that is (the) D.C. Circuit court is what approves these EPA [regulations] that threaten to hurt oil and gas and the jobs that are connected with oil and gas." - Louisiana Republican congressman Bill Cassidy, explaining, well... explaining.
You see, Cassidy is running against Mary Landrieu for the Senate. And, in the wake of filibuster reform, his campaign manager tweeted a link to a blog, and the blog had a picture of Mary Landrieu's face on Benito Mussolini's body. So, yeah. That's what he was explaining. Why all that was supposedly OK.
Now, I've seen a lot of analysis of this from people who rightly point out the ridiculousness of calling majority votes for nominees "dictatorial", saying "buy-in from Republicans" as if it weren't a synonym for "unicorn", and going all Grand Conspiracy Theory on the EPA.
But what the fuck does the construction "appoint judges among other races to D.C. circuit" mean? Clearly, he can't actually be fearmongering that the death of the filibuster will lead to brown people on the Circuit Court - someone else would have pointed that out if he had - but I've read a lot of clumsy political wonkery in my time, and I haven't seen anything like this before. Truly, Bill Cassidy is an impressive member of our ruling elite.
"It really is upsetting. As I sit here and work on focusing on my family and health with people coming and harassing me." - Congressman Trey Radel (R-Nose Candy) being treated HORRIBLY by the world.
Oh, poor widdums. Trey Radel got to wait a month before telling his boss he bought coke from an undercover cop, got to turn himself in at his own leisure, gets to pretend he has a "problem" that needs "treatment", and is going to try to keep his job, but he's being HARASSED at his cushy fake Hazelden treatment facility while he tries to focus on his FAMILY. You could brine a hundred turkeys in his river of tears.
Trey Radel makes me want to propose the Equitable Treatement Act of 2014, which would place all members of Congress under the rules and jurisdiction of Wal-Mart's HR department, who would set the working hours, vacation time, and of course consequences for minor violations the same way they do for their cashiers and stockboys. And vice versa, in case Wal-Mart decides to treat its congressional employees really nicely.
"Feigned outrage on the left over me calling Obama ‘grown up Trayvon’ except that Obama likened himself to Trayvon!” - Dinesh D'Souza, in a since-deleted tweet, defending another since-deleted tweet in which he did the thing he says he did.
Has there ever been a more useful construction for professional assholes like Dinesh D'Souza than "feigned outrage"? Not only can you use it to actually feign outrage at minor unpleasantries like MSNBC's frequently inexplicable and incompetent personnel decisions, but you can deflect any and all criticism for saying something horrible by insisting the people you've upset don't mean it.
Which, of course, misses the important point - that calling Obama "grown up Trayvon" isn't even particularly good rhetoric. It could mean literally dozens of different things, all of them offensive, none of them illuminating. I doubt D'Souza even knows why he used the phrase. Those are just the wheels that came up on his Wingnut Lizard-Brain slot machine. He might have just as easily called Obama a "regulatory Benghazi shuck-and-jive". And would have tried to erase that from Twitter, too.