Idiots Say The Damndest Things - Bonus Edition

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That's What Dupes Do

« June 2015 »

Memo to John Thune, Bristol Palin, and Megyn Kelly: YOU ARE DUMB.

We've got three classics today on IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS - blatant trollerizing from someone who ideally should be above that sort of thing, backpedaling from a Palin caught in a moment of dumbassery, and continued authoritarianism from Fox. Let's get to it.

"Six million people risk losing their health care subsidies, yet @POTUS continues to deny that Obamacare is bad for the American people.” - Actual senator John Thune from borderline-actual state South Dakota, using Twitter for its intended purpose. Bullshit.

Just because I am never surprised that standards continue to plummet doesn't mean I don't get to mark when they hit an exciting, new, or different lull. And so it is with John Thune, claiming that the Republican lawsuit taking away Obamacare subsidies from people who never had those subsidies before Obamacare and thus no insurance is somehow Obamacare hurting people.

And you know, if you want to spend your time as a United States senator saying stupid shit on Twitter so you can claim some kind of weird moral victory when everyone points at you and says "Hey, that's stupid", fine. Not like you're passing laws or anything. But maybe we should adjust the dress code for senators. Keep them from looking fancy and fooling people into thinking they're important.

"Here's the thing. I didn't get 'duped'. I know that ESPN did not publish who was considered and rejected for the award. But it is certainly obvious that Noah Galloway and Lauren Hill did not receive the award." Bristol Palin, proving what we always suspected but never really thought about - that the Palins did not correctly teach the definition of "duped".

Here's the deal. Shortly after ESPN announced that Caitlyn Jenner would be receiving the Courage Award, the world's most powerful news network - right-wing e-mail forward chains - decided that ESPN had thrown over a legless veteran whose only connection to sports is fitness competitions in favor of an immoral sex-changer who was once actually famous for doing something impressive involving ten different sports and the Olympics. Since Bristol Palin comes from an entire family of Your Crazy-Ass Aunts, she heard about this fake outrage immediately and spoke out against it.

And now she's claiming that she wasn't fooled, because the guy who ESPN may not have known about, cared about, or decided wasn't eligible for their award clearly did not receive it, and therefore, she was right all along! Bristol may be hanging out with a "video vixen" BFF and leaving her military ex-boyfriend at the altar, but at the end of the day, that Palin logic always wins out.

"The girl was no saint either. He had told her to leave, and she continued to linger. And when the cop tells you to leave, get out." - Megyn Kelly, who I'm sure has never asked a person in authority if they know who she is.

This of course, is in relation to the Texas pool party police brutality incident, where a cop who is, by all existing video evidence, essentially the racist version of T.J. Hooker, chased a bunch of black kids out of a pool party because he and residents believed they did not belong there. Because they were black. A bunch of them actually did belong there, including the "no saint" girl, a 14-year-old in a bikini, who the cop wrestled to the ground.

The cop has since resigned, but Megyn Kelly continues to prove that you can never comply enough. You have what is, on video, clearly a crazy person, running around, swearing, doing awkward forward somersaults, and barking obscenity-laced orders to people who have done nothing wrong. If he was holding a bottle of booze instead of a gun, HE'S the one who'd be shot by cops. Well, he's white. Wrestled to the ground by cops. But the point is, maybe it's not fair to blame someone for not immediately obeying what could very well be a schizophrenic who came straight to the pool party from a costume shop. Even though most people who fit that description are actual cops.

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