Election 2016

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Clinton's Doomed Campaign

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Memo to False Equivalists: HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?

You know, I could do a lot of different things today. There's a lot going on. But I've been pretty mean to Donald Trump lately, and there are a couple of new Hillary Clinton e-mail allegations, so let's just talk about those insteadl.

Thanks to Wikileaks, we now know that the Clinton campaign, specifically John Podesta and Clinton attorney David Kendall, discussed ways to refute renewed rape allegations by Juanita Broderick against Bill Clinton. Given the furor surrounding Donald Trump's alleged history of sexual assault, this is a potentially parallel issue.

In perusing the e-mail, it does not appear that Podesta and Kendall had reason to believe Clinton was guilty of the rape, like, say, a tape of Clinton bragging about how, as a politician, he could get away with raping people.

Also, I checked very thoroughly, and among all the methods of refutation the two discussed, they didn't consider, much less settle on, a series of insinuations that the victims were too unattractive to rape. Nor did they discuss standing on multiple stages and repeatedly calling the alleged victims crazy or liars in front of thousands of sympathetic crazy people. Nor did they discuss bringing bringing forward a British witness who'd been involved in two sex scandals, one real one alleged, involving members of the British Parliament. I'm not sure why I looked for that, but I did, and it wasn't there. But that's not the only e-mail.

Wikileaks has also released a couple of alleged transcripts of Hillary Clinton's speeches to Goldman Sachs. In the speeches, for which she was paid quite handsomely, she was nice and pleasant towards the people who gave her a lot of money to be nice and pleasant.

Skimming through the transcripts shows that while Clinton was certainly quite cozy with the assholes who wrecked the economy and got away with it because they have the kind of money and power that politicians unfortunately can't ignore, at no point did she suggest that she'd been behind Elizabeth Warren at one point or another and Warren's ass was ugly. You'd think, given Warren's history of pointed anti-Wall Street rhetoric, that's something Clinton would have done, but it turns out she didn't.

Also surprising - despite being live and in New York, Clinton failed to seize the opportunity to, say, accuse Saturday Night Live of being part of a massive media conspiracy to affect the outcome of elections by making fun of politicians. At the time she gave the speech, there hadn't been any egregious acts of political violence, so she didn't have the opportunity to blame Republicans for one. The leaks only include the transcripts, so we're unable to verify at this time whether or not she suggested she and everyone else take drug tests before her speech.

This lack of opportunity was a running theme through Clinton's speeches. The lack of any African-American Goldman-Sachs employees dressed as Uncle Sam prevented her from calling them "Uncle Tom" repeatedly. Since Clinton doesn't have a son, she was unable to relate hilarious tales from around that time where her son suggested that women who couldn't handle sexual harassment didn't belong in the high-pressure world of finance. And the lack of Mexican billionaires in the room meant she was unable to blame anything on them.

Clearly, the steady drip of leaks from Julian Assange is going to force the media to focus on these things almost exclusively, even though they are almost entirely free of the kinds of things that, were they present as part of the Clinton campaign, the media would be forced to cover very heavily and in great detail. I hope her campaign can survive.

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