Trumpland

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Is This Thing On?

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Memo to the Donald Trump: YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.

I know we’ve all collectively moved on to the saga of former Trump aide Sam Nunberg going on every talk show in the country like some kind of mutual incrimination Stations Of The Cross, but I want to turn the clock back a day or two to the weekend Donald Trump said maybe we should try the “president-for-life” idea some time.

Not that quote, though. I mean, I’m sure he meant it, but again, the only thing saving us is that Donald Trump only wants to to do the waving-from-balconies part of dictatoring, not the actual work. So yeah, he’d love to BE president for life, but to do that he’d have to BECOME president for life, and let’s face it, that’s effort.

No, I want to turn to the Gridiron Dinner, which is one of those things where everyone’s supposed to pretend they’re all friends and everything’s great and everyone in Washington is really good people no matter how many poors they crush under their heels. And I refer to you the following quotes from the transcript.

”I thought that was going to get a much better … I said to Melania, ‘Do you think I should use that one? I don’t know.’ And then she said, Use it. It’s good.’ … So much for humor. You never know about humor do you. “

”That was pretty good though wasn’t it? … That’s another bomb that I thought was going to be great.”

I mean, obviously, if you hate sleeping through the night, you should read the whole transcript, because it’s the kind of rambling, Senile Uncle At Thanksgiving ramble that dips into Super Offensive Stuff He Gets Cheers From Redneck Fucks For eight or nine times that Trump is infamous for. But it’s the three quotes above that really piss me off.

I mean, he’s clearly half-reading sortajokes that whatever speechwriters he has left have scripted for him, and the whole time, he’s commenting on which ones he thought would do well in the room and which ones wouldn’t, and of course, he’s wrong every time because that’s what he does. Be wrong.

He’s just so bad at everything, in such an obvious way. Aside from the narcissism and the cruelty and the autocratic tendencies, he’s just such a dumpster fire of a human being, and his lifetime of success should turn Adam Smith into a Communist like one of those post-mortem Mormonizings. Fuck that guy.

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