Spastic Topic Monkey Friday

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Rhymes With Ferret

« September 2017 »

Memo to Pivot-Watchers, Verrit, and Triggered Trumpies: YOU ARE DUMB.

The Internet! It lets you order things, it lets you read these words, and other than that, it's mostly destroying us all. Also, one of these things isn't about the internet, because themes are hard. SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

Don't read too much into Donald Trump's decision to side with Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi on a combination short term debt ceiling hike, continuing resolution, and hurricane aid bill. Also, don't read too much into Republican disgruntlement with said bill. Basically, never read too much into anything Trump does, because there are no depths, hidden or otherwise, to any of it.

Discussions of Trump's decision-making process, all of which do it great credit by calling it a decision making process, frequently say that if you want to convince Trump of something, you have to be the last person to mention it to him before he makes the decision. Trump lacks object permanence, basically, and so as long as you hold "short term deal" or "bomb North Korea" or "rescind DACA" in front of him long enough, he'll decide that it's policy. Take it away from him, and he forgets that it's there. Pelosi and Schumer were in the right place at the right time, that's all.

I don't fully understand what the fuck Verrit thinks it is. I mean, I've read news articles, and I've visited the site, and I'm still very confused. It seems to be an Internet site full of allegedly verified factoids, and each factoid has a code so you can prove it came from Verrit and is therefore good information. And it's run by an insecure, combative, former digital strategist for Hillary Clinton (Peter Daou, a name that rings a vague bell from the earlier days of liberal blogging back when we thought Markos Moulitsas was a thing).

The problem with Verrit, by which I mean the core philosophical problem, not the many horrifying and embarrassing failures of execution that have plagued it since it launched, is the same problim with Politifact and all the other attempts to replace what used to be a generally agreed upon commonly-defined reality. But it can't be replaced, because the only difference between these new systems and the old system is that it took decades of willful disbelief and undermining to destroy the old system, and these new ones fail in 45 minutes. The fucking POPE was demonized as a socialist when he said things nutjobs disagreed with, so your shitty Silicon Valley name and your half-assed center-left factoids aren't going to be convincing people. Who do you think you are, millions of Russian troll-bots?

And speaking of hordes of Trumpite morons reacting with incoherent rage at things they don't understand, also known as all the things, we have the latest addition to the hilarious yet terrifying genre of "things Trump dorks decide are anti-Trump or anti-freedom for reasons even they can't explain."

In this case, it was an NPR hashtag promoting a story about the dangers of extended periods of sitting, especially for older Americans. That hashtag? #GetOffTheCouchBabyBoomers. The list of people these media-savvy geniuses lashed out against thinking they were being specifically insulted by the communist media? Millennials, Congress, Democrats, and something called "68ers", which I think is some weird right-wing slang for "hippies". I guess they're still mad that the Obamas told them to stop using 100-watt light bulbs and eat a fucking vegetable every now and then.

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