You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Memo to the other 1,999 columns: HERE'S ONE MORE.
As best as I'm able to determine, this is the two thousandth You Are Dumb column. Short of actually going through and counting, which I'm too lazy to do*, looking at how Drupal numbers columns, and the number of things with numbers that aren't actually columns, this is it. Maybe one or two off in either direction, but close enough.
If you'd asked me, eight years ago, if I thought I'd write two thousand of these, I've got to be honest, I probably would have said "why the fuck not?" That's not the traditional answer, but frankly, this isn't that difficult. The web hosting is cheap, a column takes me, on average, about an hour, and these days, thanks to the fine people at Apple, I can do it anywhere.
Two thousand columns, and I'm happy to say I haven't changed a goddamned thing. Well, not "happy", but certainly not unhappy. And certainly not surprised. You can't fight stupidity. You can't cure it. You can cure ignorance, but stupidity is eternal. Individually, many of you are quite nice, but en masse? For fuck's sake.
So you point, and you laugh, and sometimes you get angry, and sometimes (cough cough election day 2004) you have to re-evaluate exactly how fucking stupid you thought everyone was, but stupidity? Still there, still kickin' it.
I mean, the Scott Walker recall election is this Tuesday. If there was ever a chance to see if people could learn from their mistakes, or even remember them, this would be it. And that's certainly looking like a confirmation of my central thesis on the horizon.
But that's fine. Well, not fine for Wisconsin, and not fine for humanity, but it's fine for You Are Dumb Dot Net, because it ensures a 2,003rd, or maybe a 2,004th column. And, in a larger sense, it ensures a 3,000th and 4,000th column, assuming there's any place for a text-based presence on the Internet in another eight and a half years and we're not all either underwater or just watching each other talk via some kind of Google Glass-based augmented reality. Barring that, see you then.
*Nor, thankfully, have I inspired the kind of fanatically loyal fanbase that would do it for me. It seems nice at first, and then they send you plush versions of yourself with furry fuckpockets where the orifices should go, and it's just not worth it.