You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Memo to Julaine Appling, Paul Cameron, and Bob Marshall: YEAH, WE'RE GONNA STOP LISTENING TO YOU NOW.
There's a debate going on in this country about gay marriage. On one side of the debate are people who think that couples in loving relationships should be able to have the same ability to join in a civil contract regardless of the genders of the two people involved. And on the other side of the debate are crazy, fucked up assholes.
I know that sounds like hyperpartisan name-calling and uncivil discourse. And it is. But it's also true. Maybe not universally true, but certainly statistically true. Three more data points in this special SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!
Julaine Appling opposes gay marriage as part of Wisconsin Family Action. And she opposes gay marriage because everyone's a little bit gay, and if everyone else can choose to be straight and marry an opposite-sex partner, why can't the so-called gay people?
But that's a paraphrase. Paraphrasing is wildly unfair to the people involved, because they don't tell you what people say, they tell you what I'm telling you they say. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!
"I would submit there’s not a person alive who hasn’t said, 'Well, I wonder,' because of the culture we live in, the time we live in. You have to make a decision and you may need help to make this decision," she said. "People have left gay lifestyles by the droves successfully. I believe they need to talk to people, maybe they need to speak to both sides, but they at least need to speak to the side that says you can go in another direction."
See? Paraphrases are unfair. I left out the part where she said everyone's a little bit gay because of the 60's. My bad.
Paul Cameron opposes gay marriage as part of the Family Research Institute, proving that anyone with Family, a verb, and a noun can be part of their own little gayhate fiefdom.
I can't make fun of Paul Cameron. But I can make sure you know why we shouldn't let him decide the fate of gay marriage. Actual quote time.
"In those societies in which homosexuality gets a fair degree of prominence -- for instance, Afghanistan; for instance, Pakistan -- you have an enormous...incorporation of children into homosexual activity. I reacted to my environment. As you're probably aware, I was seduced, or raped, as a child...I was raped homosexually. Had that continued, I don't know where I would've ended up. I do know that the culture, which was directed toward heterosexuality, overcame whatever feelings I had -- and I had some, that I acquired as 3-year-old -- and by the time I was 9 or 10, I was thoroughly interested in girls."
That, ladies and gentlemen, is fucked up. Paul Cameron needs a lot of things. But he doesn't need to be part of the national debate on gay rights.
Bob Marshall opposes gay marriage, but I will say this for the Virginia state representative. He absolutely does not believe in judging gay people. By which I mean he doesn't believe gay people should be allowed to be judges. And he supports that belief by opposing gay marriage.
"We have a constitution which says marriage is between one man and one woman and if he’s taking an oath, he has to uphold and defend that as a judge. If his lifestyle is exactly contrary to that… I don’t see how he could do that." - Marshall, explaining why he opposes Tracy Thorne-Beglund's appointment to the state District Court.
Of course, Thorne-Beglund's lifestyle isn't in violation of the state constitution. He's not married. He has a long-term partner, of course. They have two kids. But thanks to Virginia's constitution, it will take another constitutional amendment before he, his partner, and their kids can be a "real family" in the eyes of Virginia law.
I don't know why the fuck he'd WANT to be a judge under those conditions, but since he's not gay married, his "lifestyle" doesn't keep him from upholding the state constitution. Though I'd hope it keeps him from agreeing with it.
These are the voices opposing marriage equality, and man, are they fucked in the head.