Gender Issues

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Get In The Zone

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Memo to Hans Fiene: CONGRATULATIONS. THAT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN EASY.

Writing the worst article on the internet in any given timeframe has got to be a challenge. It's not a challenge people should take up, but it's a challenge thousands and thousands still attempt every year. So imagine my surprise when Hans Fiene, writing for The Federalist, managed the feat with seeming ease.

How did he do it? By conflating two of the worst things a human being can write about - the concept of "demographic winter" (if white people don't have more babies the browns will kill us all) and the concept of the "friend zone" (how unappealing men blame women for not fucking them). If women don't stop friendzoning men, there won't be enough white babies! Go fuck yourself, literally and figuratively.

Most of the article is the usual biological determinism / Harry Met Sally bullshit about how men are always trying to fuck women and women aren't letting them and that's a bad thing. Just the usual MRA, "dick is all-powerful all-controlling" misogynist bullshit. But there is a mistaken impression at the core of it that needs to be addressed.

At the risk of speaking for women (who are free to correct me if I'm wrong), women don't put you in the friend zone because they want to be your friend. They put you in the friend zone because they can't get rid of you and they need to manage you. "Friend zone" is a kind way of saying "Asshole-I'm-societally-obligated-to-spend-time-near-occasionally-zone".

It's actually super easy for men to be friends with women. All you have to do is like them as individuals and not try to fuck them. That's a really low bar. I didn't even say not WANT to fuck them. Just don't try. Boom, friendship achieved. Men who don't try to fuck women who don't want to fuck them back don't get "friendzoned", because they don't need to be managed. They don't have to be deflected and deferred and distracted because they could take a hint if they had to, but they don't even have to.

Because believe me, Hans, you don't have to mansplain to women that a bunch of men trying to be friends with them are doing it because they want to fuck them. They know. You are not subtle. Your desperation is more palpable than your Axe body spray. You're being tolerated, not liked, and that's only because circumstances keep them from cutting you out of their life entirely. If you had an ounce of self-awareness and a gram of self-respect, you'd realize that and go away, but you don't.

If you really want to make a bunch of white babies so badly and think it's the only way to save civilization, here's a tip - stop being so goddamned unappealing. And start with the racism. Once you get rid of that, not only will you be slightly less unpleasant to be around, the pressure to make white babies will be lifted from your scrotum.

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