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You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Memo to Milton Wolf: DUMB, BUT INNOVATIVE.
The internet is a world of boundless possibility. Infinite potential. Mostly unrealized potential, mind you, but infinite potential nonetheless. And if you're, say, a political candidate, and possibly a horrible human being (to the extent that those two things aren't redundant), that means you have infinite potential to fuck up in a permanent and public manner.
Which makes me... not "proud", exactly. And not "impressed", either. But some unique, special variety of contemptuous toward Milton Wolf, teabagger and wanna-be Kansas senator, who has managed to find a way to be horrible on the Internet that I hadn't even considered as a possibility. And I've thought about that a lot. For a long time. It's probably very unhealthy.
Milton Wolf, you see, is a doctor. A radiologist, in fact. Now, you've probably heard the expression "bringing your work home with you". And also the phrase "letting off steam". But this is probably the first time you've heard the phrase "bringing home X-rays of horrible injuries from work and then posting them to Facebook while making stupid jokes about them". I know it was the first time I had.
I mean, I'm about as desensitized as a modern, media-consuming non-sociopath can be, but if you have access to gunshot wounds to the head, post them on Facebook, say that they remind you of Terminator 2, and follow up with "we all see beauty in different things", there is something seriously fucking wrong with you.
But according to Wolf, at least at first, it was all OK, because it was legal. And it was legal because he didn't tell you whose head that was with the gunshot wound, so nobody's privacy was violated. Technically.
When asked by the local paper if he was still posting pictures of injuries online and making fun of them, but in a non-public venue, Wolf's response was "I'm not going to play these kind of gotcha games", which really elevates the political denial to a whole new level. "Have I stopped doing the horrible thing I got caught doing? That's just a gotcha game." Fucking classic.
Wolf later issued an apology, sort of, in which he showed the kind of unflinching political courage, sort of, that is respected by anyone who listens to only part of what he said.
"We all try to get through difficult things. I suppose humor in of itself is just that. If you stop and think about it, every single joke that exists, or everything you've ever laughed about is at somebody else's expense. It's at someone else's pain. And I think we use humor to try to deal with difficult situations. Day after day, year after year, you deal with the absolute worst tragedies you can imagine. I have had to deliver to people, to families, to moms the worst news they will ever hear in their life. That's difficult and it takes its toll. I'm a human like everyone else... I won't make excuses or try to blame anyone else for my mistakes. I'll own them. And I'll apologize for them, like I have done here." - Wolf, in an interview with Breitbart Sort Of News.
Yeah! He won't make any excuses, except for the excuse that he sees horrible things all the time as a radiologist and deals with them with humor. He won't blame other people, except his opponent, who he's repeatedly blamed for leaking the story to the press. He'll own his mistakes, he just won't tell you when he's stopped making them. Because that's the kind of man Milton Wolf is.