Republicans

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We Got Four Hours

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Memo to the whole Jeff Sessions thing: GODDAMMIT.

For a man who demonstrably lacks even the tiniest shred of empathy or self-awareness, the Cosplay Mussolini has an uncanny sense for when we all start to relax even the tiniest bit and takes steps to fuck it all up. It’s probably just the odds, because he’s constantly fucking shit up.

But I’m here to reassure you. Sort of. In that cynical, somewhat nihilistic way that is my stock in trade

What happened with Jeff Sessions is bad. What specifically happened is that Trump fired Jeff Sessions, made him write a resignation letter that is the flimsiest of fig leaves over the firing because the replacement process is different for each and our system lets flimsy fig leaves work. And he appointed, as acting Attorney General and head of the investigation into his own wrongdoing, the douchiest little lickspittle they could find under a fucking rock at the Justice Department.

He shouldn’t get away with this. We should do everything we can (which, for most of us, is very little) to be sure he doesn’t get away with it. But if he does get away with it, it’s not... fatal? As such? Nationally. Societally. Right now. Respect my qualifiers.

Here’s the thing. Whatever Trump is guilty of? Whatever he’s so scared of everyone finding out about him from Mueller? It’s petty and small. Even if it’s treason, it’s the pettiest and smallest of treason, because that’s all Trump is and all Trump does. Petty and small. It’d be damaging to him, for sure. Potentially career-ending. But like his mushroom dick, it’s bigger and more important in his mind than it is in reality. Treason may have gotten him in the White House illegitimately, and the damage he’s done since then and because of it is epic, but the actual getting blackmailed or willingly going along with Putin? Small petty stuff for small petty reasons.

If it’s financial stuff, it’s just petty money laundering regardless of the scale. Or tax fraud, or whatever. The Mueller investigation could end Trump, certainly. It won’t end Trumpism. And if Trump manages to stop the Mueller investigation with this move, we get the unstable addled douchefuck in charge of Trumpism instead of the Dominionist theocrat who calls his wife “Mother”.

It’s also possible that, under the principle that “the cover up is worse than the crime”, Donald Trump getting away with his petty, small crimes, but being publicly seen to have gotten away with it through nefarious means, could be more damaging to Trumpism than the downfall of Trump over a petty crime would be. Long shot, I know. But still.

Sure, it’s horrible for our institutions and the rule of law, breaking the ideals and foundation of the country in a fundamental way because the people who are supposed to be a check and balance on this kind of thing are mostly cult members in the President’s stupid, stupid cult, but that’s been true for two years and can’t get much more true without everything collapsing. And a day later they were posting a video doctored by an Infowars Neo-Nazi to justify stripping the press credentials from a CNN reporter. So there’s a whole other thing to worry about!

Feel better?

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